White noise is a random signal (or process) with a flat power spectral density. In other words, the signal's power spectral density has equal power in any band, at any center frequency, having a given bandwidth. White noise is considered analogous to white light which contains all frequencies.

Who am I?

Neo-hippie cinephile. Follower of the great Jim Morrison who once said "If the doors of perception are cleansed, everything would appear to man as it truly is, infinite."

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Slackers United

Those who know me even remotely are aware of my extreme attraction to inactivity. And those who know me well probably share the same attraction, except for a few blood relations that fall on the other side of the genetic spectrum. I must mention that this is very common amongst Bangalees who even have a term called ‘gentomi’ loosely translated at mental laziness. I hear that Goans too have something similar called ‘shusheghaat’, though I am still ignorant as to its exact meaning. Maybe this ‘condition’ stems from generations of eating fish – both kinds – river and sea water fishes since Bangalees hunt the former with as much fervor as Bangalees can muster while Goans are the main reason for the extinction of the latter. I had read some theory once which said that we are so similar because apparently we migrated from Kashmir. I find that hard to believe just because of the immense travel involved (not that travel has become easier. I mean think of the numerous pieces of clothing you have to remove at the airport security checks and how far you have to walk between terminals in bigger airports). Assuming that is true, geography tells us that Bangalees are lazier as they stopped moving a lot earlier than the Goans. Why do you think unemployment is so high in Bengal? I guess it is no surprise then that Agastya Sen, the protagonist of ‘English, August’, the epitome of this quality (I consider him a personal guru, which means I have a fictional guru, which makes me crazy, which is still better than being active) was a product of the combination of these two great cultures.

We are the denizens of society who accompany teams to nearby cricket tournaments not to play with our enthusiastic fellow riders but just so that we can laze around on the grass under a shy sun shining down with timidity and producing what photographers call ‘diffused light’. We are the people who do not correct newspaper journalists when they get our fellow player’s last names comically wrong wondering as to the point of the whole publicity stunt in the first place. We are the people who drive around downtown Salt Lake City admiring the architectural magnificence but not stopping to take out our cameras to capture them. We are also probably the only drivers in the world who start a journey on a sports car on cruise control and then curse every time there is a curve in the road. It’s not that all of us love to sleep. Personally, there is nothing more satisfying than lying at an angle of 135 degrees on my La-Z-Boy and doing nothing. Maybe read a little sometimes, but that too can be taxing after five pages or so. As the protagonist of ‘Office Space’ puts it so effectively, “I would just do nothing if I had a million dollars.”

So, it is needless to mention that we are agitated more than active (abnormal) people when we ‘google’ for a South Indian restaurant, find the directions on Mapquest and drive the Goliathan (yeah yeah, tautology) distance (relatively speaking of course) to find it closed on Sundays. Then there are dilemmas in life like is it better to go all seven floors down (yeah, I know there was an elevator, still) to the hotel Jacuzzi and spend a couple of hours basking in the taboo thrill of watching beautiful Morman women in bikinis, or whether the bed in which you are lying in considering this will suffice. The latter situation always wins. We are also the only people in the world who don’t touch wood when talking of bedpans, and hail the remote control as the greatest invention of the last century. We grow our hair not to make a fashion statement but till the time we realize that combing the damn mane is actually more work than making our way to the nearest Great Clips. We criticize the Nintendo Wii for the realistic feel it brings to video games because the whole point of this sport is to only move the tips of a couple of fingers up and down. Right now you are probably wondering the reason for the randomness of the order of the contents of this post. I would go ahead and read it and organize it, but then I would rather sit back, zone out and increase La-Z-Boy Inc.’s share prices.

8 comments:

Me, myself and Sumant. said...

Finally a burst of activity! Too much work writing, I say. Me says time for food and slacki-slack!

Mmmmm, me too lazy to write more...

Amit said...

That's cool...well said...Had to overcome my LA-Z-ness to actually read this...

Soum said...

Nice one Arani....I dunno if I inspired you to write this post or you inspired me to be my new "summer" me. Must say...(Will finish later...yaaawn)

Aheli said...

I think the limit is when we starve cos we're too lazy to buy foodstuff. Weekends fruitfully spent sleeping all day. The list goes on...am glad the writer's covered most of it..

aheli said...

It was morning when i read this, so was too lazy to write anything more, even after 10 hours of sleep...ahh bliss! Ok, now getting to the point- I didn't realize you write so well! That should ideally be a lie keeping in mind i've read your other entries, but it's been a while and my memory's obviously given way.

So, being this lazy can't be a good, but somehow I don't have the inclination to turn the table. Though though though, i must point out that there is 1 in a 1000 Bangalees who will shed this laziness for reasons of their own (I can go on about the reasons, but i shall refrain here). Obviously you and I don't have reasons. But, it makes me wonder..are we people of less faith?

I ask this because it is said that people of less faith have less to hate, and therefore less to stand up for. We discuss a million topics at the coffee table and have a solution to every problem the world have to offer, but do we really believe in anything at all? Gosh..hold on, this was about lazyness, what have i gone on about? Nevermind...you get the drift..

ArSENik said...

As I said in the post, sleeping does not count as you are not doing nothing then since you are actually sleeping.

I guess we have less faith because we can afford to be lazy. We haven't been forced into action of any significance in our lives (at least I haven't), which may sound selfish, but is probably a good thing from our points of view. Don't try to search for the philosophy angle in my posts. You will be disappointed. :)

aheli said...

Nah...wasn't looking for the philosophy...only complementing the post with mine

Aroon said...

I love laziness. I think genes have played a large part in contributing to your attributes which Mum will never agree with. Please keep the flag of laziness flying high as you may be the last breed of crazy lazy fellows who wants to look through the open vastness of the sky and do nothing for the whole day. On a Sunday morning, lying down in the bed and idling the whole day, doing nothing but making the mind do ablusi bhabna (stray thinking)is the best thing in the world one can peacefully do. Write more on the lazy crazy ideas.

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