Guitar Blues

I am sure you have watched those movies before where an old person takes up a new hobby and excels at it. Like "The Visitor". It's escapism I tell you. A non-suspecting me accompanied The Rabbit and Sambaman to the Guitar Center. Now, Sambaman is no mean musician. Son of a musician, he is one of those people who can play something that he hears randomly playing on the radio. The Rabbit is pretty good for a self taught guitarist, and then there is me - the deaf sheep of the troika.

Don't get me wrong. I consider myself a connoisseur of the finest guitar solos ever played. If I wasn't such an atheist, I might have even considered worshipping the likes of Hendrix, Page, Clapton, Gilmour and Santana. Now, Rabbit and Sambaman are flirting with a couple of flashy bright things. Soon they have these beauties around their necks and are literally rocking out and playing the blues as if their granddaddies were in a band of waiters in New Orleans that entertained guests during breaks from serving them giant Cajun shrimps. Tired of watching little kids serenading their parents nearby, I decide to jump in. It takes me five minutes to figure out where the cable from the amp connects to the guitar and then half an hour to figure out the amp itself. When I finally hear the sweet sound of my escort, it's scratchy - like Hendrix playing with arthritis or something, staccato all the way. A couple of Gothic babes pass by and I shut my eyes tight, pout my lips and nod my head a la Page, and give all the strings a go, giving them a preview of my cacophonous symphony. They flee.

Sambaman tells me we are starting a band. I tell him I will write and sing. Sambaman doesn't know that I write songs as well as Clapton does advanced calculus. One of my musically inclined cousins tried once. The deal was that I write and she puts music to my contribution. The words have remained poetry ever since, and she has changed careers, probably drowned by the guilt caused by me and has become a Russian translator. Later, Sambaman develops paternal instincts and starts teaching me on a big beautiful acoustic thing. Short term amnesia sets in, not to mention a very early stage of arthritis wherein my fingers, stubborn as my refusal to keep going, become asymptotes, and that too, without any kind of harmony amongst themselves. I somehow convince Sambaman that I do not need to learn how to play chords in order to become a successful guitarist and that humans aren't designed to learn anything new after 25.

Flashforward to tonight. I get a duster out, and toil on my dark as cocoa guitar. I start implementing the single string theory that I sold last evening as well as Dennis Hopper sold cocaine to the American public. I am not even sure I can tell the difference between the last two strings. It's gotta be either high or low. There's no B flat and B sharp in my world. They sound like Victoria's Secret units to me. Frustrated, I run to the safety of Youtube, and its tempting plethora of useless drivel. And finally, I vent it all - here.

Home?

There's no point bathing the Blue Lady here. She gets downright dirty by the next day in LA's smoke - an obscene, familiar gray halo that greets you as you approach the city from the outskirts, soon to engulf you in its twister of dust. It's frustrating, and yet in some way, I feel closer to home than in any other US city I have inhabited.

The north is phasing out gradually and the word "home" is only able to conjure up this mess of a city with its scarred highways and traffic jams during unearthly hours. With companions equally laid back and novel unparalleled laziness, I don't have urges to make the Blue Lady run up with me anymore. Gluttons rolling in penury, we know where you can find the 10% student discount, or when the kitchens of the buffets close. Who said you needed motorcycles to find zen! Ask the Blue Lady as I lean back ultra-low and traverse the backstreets under a warm sun.

#308 is nice and welcoming as we hurry up the protected stairway to escape LA's unpredictable icy winds in the evenings - basking under the sun all day from its perch so high, engulfing me in the large black cushion on the futon as Antonioni and Kubrick display their art. The pool below sparkles its blueness sometimes under that sun, tempting us to dive the three floors into its cool depth, but sloth is not something that should be thus underestimated. However, the trunks are at least within view, just in case, some day, on some impulse, we jump.

Grass Valley

When I looked up from my comfortable perch in the back seat, none of the other cars were in sight. A close, squinted look at the speedometer told me why. X was driving at 5 miles below the speed limit. After some unpublishable swearing in Mandarin, the little white creature lurched forward. After a deep-fried Taco Bell meal, I took over the reins, and punctuated by only greasy belching, we threw ourselves into the silent folds of the rural underbelly of North California.

The first thing to hit me when we parked at the house, apart from an irrepressible urge to micturate, was the silence, which accompanied by the blackness of night that only rural areas can offer these days, was the visual representation of a typical, soothing Pink Floyd song. The sky, visible through my frozen breath, was sparkling, inviting like an intoxicating wine. If only the D200 could capture this spectacle!

The next seven days were jam packed. I spent the most time with the Sun, urging him like Kunti, pleading at times, to not move so much during a shot, silking the actors from his glorious wrath, and at the end of the day each day, pleading him to stay a little longer. Clouds waltzed in at times, to supplement the tired silks. Windy felt ignored and made her presence felt. She broke our dispensable bounce boards on a couple of occasions and ultimately, bent one of the stands of the giant silk. Thank god (sic) for gaffer's tape!

The family opened up their homes and hearts to us for the entire week, meticulously attending to some of our special dietary situations with utmost charm and smiles. We hadn't eaten this healthy in years, possibly since leaving home. Then there was Jack, unaware of the family's presence, bootlegging our morale as the days got longer, and muddier, at times. Made some new friends and spent a lot of time with some old ones, highlights include a random ice-cream break, assuming peacocks at night were just crying cats and a miniature mute bear.


I scorned at the ladies for getting sentimental when it was all over, but I would be lying if I said each one of us didn't leave a tiny part of ourselves in Grass Valley, whether it was in the river flowing by the barn, dressed by us in the biggest Nazi flag the world has seen since 1945, or the gobbling turkeys next door, as we headed back to the noise pollution and starless skies of LA. I drove the whole way this time.